Fear is a biznatch!

Never worry, always wonder. 

Exhaust all options before concluding that something is not right for you. 

Be Grateful.

Learn to look within to find the answers you seek in life. And learn to trust that voice guiding you. When the direction is right, not just for you, but for everyone involved, you know that is God seeking expression through you. 

All of these sayings are helping me to overcome one of my greatest fears in life. It is the fear of disregarding all societal pressures. Pressures to be a good husband, provider for the family, provide stability and security, provide financially, be a good Christian, be there for the family, etc. All of these things that my family, my society, my church has put in my mind to do or to be has plagued my mind and has stricken my heart with fear of doing things that are actually true to my heart. 

The truth of my heart and spirit is that I want to connect with people and I want to do it through music. That seems to be the only thing I want to do. I don't want to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or a pastor, or a designer of sorts. Shoot, it's not at the forefront of my mind to be a good husband, son, provider or anything. I'm sure those things will come eventually. But in the pursuit of trying to be all those things other people want me to be, I have neglected all that I want to be. And now that I am aware of it, I have been petrified to do so. There's not a straight forward path to the things I want to do. Therefore, there is not a lot of security in what I am hoping to do. How do I make it work? 

Because I have neglected this, I have spent years and thousands upon thousands of dollars investing in things that in the end, I may never use. The time and money spent doing these things can never be taken back or replaced for the time and money spent developing the things that I naturally gravitate towards; the things that I am good at and I want to do. I have faced failure, disappointment, and depression more than I would have liked to. I have denounced my faith, negatively effected my marriage, I have been distant from friends that I once had, distant from my family, even though we do not live that far away. I have developed sicknesses because of these pursuits. 

All of this only to come to question it all and make sense of it. I asked myself, "if I have to go through all that I went through just so that I can try to fit into societies view of me, is it worth it? The possibility of failing in what I really want to do doesn't sound so bad in comparison. I will probably struggle in the exact same way that I struggled trying to be what others want me to be, put at least I will be doing something I like. That will be my saving grace." Some will say that sounds insane, but I would argue that the true insanity is trying to fit in at the cost of your own self. 

Never worry, always wonder. 

With still doubt in my heart, I spoke with a few people who have given me words that have been changing my life. "Never worry, always wonder." An entrepreneur friend of mine gave me this one to ponder on. It is the heart of wondering what would happen if you really explored the thing you are most genuinely interested in? What if you visualized what the outcome would be? What if you lived by that visualization, holding it in your mind, and believing that it was actually happening? What if you thanked God for it NOW? What would happen? There is only one way to find out... :) 

Exhaust all options before concluding that something is not right for you. 

With still a little fear in me, I spoke to one of my managers at my current job (as of today). She said "exhaust all options before concluding that something is not right for you." This was given to me in the heart of not giving up so easily. Things may look bad, things may get tough. But if you quit, you'll never know what blessing you are missing out on by doing so. It may just be the trial before the triumphant realization that it truly is for you. You made the decision to try it after all, so that has to illuminate some aspect of who you are. But with the attitude of giving up easily, you'll never know what's right for you, and thus, you'll never explore who you truly are or what you are capable of. So for the sake of your own soul and self-unfoldment, and your self-realization, do not give up on things you decide to do so easily. 

Be Grateful

This one came for a book called The Magic (The Secret) by Rhonda Byrnes. Nothing can be so powerfully life transformative as being grateful in my opinion. It gives you endurance to get through storms. It allows for you to see the positive in all situations. It makes it easier for you to find solutions to complex problems.

Being grateful can be tough to do, especially with such an entitled generation that we live in. We have been so used to the things that provide pleasure and instant gratification that innovation in our lives is now expected as a opposed to an awe factor. And being apart of this generation, I empathize with the difficulty of being grateful. Especially, in tough times. 

But I tell you first hand, I have experienced more success and more self-realization being grateful than being in any other mental state. It is the one thing that helped me get out of a deep depression, that helped me land a new job, that helped me to turn my marriage back around. Being grateful after being depressed is like looking up after looking down at your feet for a long time feeling that you can't get a burger, only to find that a steak dinner was sitting in front of you the whole time. All you had to do was look up. 

Being grateful is looking up over your life circumstances instead of looking down. When you look up, you see things more clearly and more realistically. You can appreciate them because you can see how it struggles and triumphs will lead you to better days. 

Learn to look within to find the answers you seek in life.

This one came from a book called The Science of Being Great by Wallace D. Wattles. I think this was the straw that broke the camels back of my fears. I know what I naturally gravitate to. I know what plagues my mind constantly. These are desires seeking expression and it is in my best interest to facilitate those desires, to partner with God and see them come to fruition. Otherwise, it will continue to haunt me. But it will grow more difficult as time gets older. So the best time is now! 

I am understanding that many of life's questions can be solved by looking within. Taking time to bond with the God that lives inside each and everyone one of us. I believe we are all connected, so the answer is generally the one that is the right answer for the collective as opposed to the individual. 

I use these tenants to guide me to overcome my fears of being all that I can be at the expense of breaking my societal ties. LET ME JUST SAY that I do not believe that anyone in my life meant any harm by what they suggest for me to do. They give advice based on what they have found to work for their goals in life. I just have to realize that my goals are not the same as theirs are, nor are my desires the same. Ultimately, I think I will do better at being all the things they would like me to be if I just explore my true self. 

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